We've actually spent so much time this year thinking about our 25th wedding anniversary next year that I never gave this year much thought. We used to always go out to dinner for our anniversary, but the last few years we even stopped that practice. Somewhere along the line we both agreed that for us, it was mostly just a day on the calendar and that the real thing to be excited about was the fact that after so many years we are not only still married, but very happily so. Something that seems to be in short supply in the couples in this day and age. We try to celebrate that in small ways almost every day. For me that means making an effort to be nice when I feel like being cranky, to take the time to consider a request to do something that is asked of me instead of just immediately saying no. This year I've made an effort to accompany Wayne on a few neighborhood summer driveway visits instead of just staying behind. It's the small things that add up, the little sacrifices we make to keep a connection alive and the longer we've been together the more I keep trying to be a better companion. Each person finds their own way to say they're still trying - for me it's as simple as tolerating social group interaction when often I'm just as happy with my own company or cooking breakfast when I'd rather be watching a movie.
|One of my efforts included visiting Stewart-Haas Racing. I got a great t-shirt too!|
Last year we decided we would actually do it up big for our 25th, make an effort to mark the occasion. When I started putting forth trip ideas for a November trip Wayne kept countering with a trip in August. A trip in August? That's just like any other trip! No, if it is going to be meant to mark our anniversary, it needs to at least be in the same month! Taking a trip in late October that will linger into mid-November is a sacrifice Wayne is making for me when he'd rather be home and not worrying about weather on our way back home. Here's a link to a blog I found of a couple that visited Palo Duro Canyon on our anniversary last year. Hopefully the last leg of our trip that puts us there next November will turn out just as nice.
Other things Wayne does for me are small to some, but mean the world to me. I have a lot of food sensitivities and trouble with fragrances and chemical odors. He is the first one to say let's leave a place that is difficult to breathe in and sometimes the first to ask the waitress if a dish contains any offending foods. My physical comfort affects him too, and he does his best to make sure I am warm, dry, and that I don't forget my little tushy cushion to protect my tailbone when we leave home. Of course there is some self-preservation in these actions as an uncomfortable wife doesn't make a pleasant companion, but it pleases me just the same when he looks out for me. He also doesn't take it personally when I leave him behind on our trips to do my own thing, as I encourage him to pursue his own interests. That kind of security in a relationship is even rarer than happiness and I treasure it.
So, to all you happy couples out there on the road or battening down the hatches for winter, celebrate it however and whenever you like, but take a moment to acknowledge the fact that a long and happy marriage is something to be thankful for. Even if it's a few days late, like me!
P.S., thanks to Donna Cave for unknowingly prompting me to make this public acknowledgement after reading about her own 44th anniversary this week!